The Larynx...

... is an interesting part of the human body. Of course, there are other parts definitely more interesting, but for the sake of this post let's examine the larynx. God, in His infinite wisdom, has varied the performance capacity  of each individual larynx. While some produce just a feeble sound at their maximum capacity,  others can literally shatter the unfortunate ear drum that gets too close. Of the above, the latter one is the topic of this post. The larynx in question belongs to a particular Russian gentleman, who sits across me in his own cubicle at my work place. Generally the cubes at work are so designed to give the worker a semblance of privacy. True, it blocks out the view since photons, you see, are honest particles and always take the straight path. But the sound waves are devious little things which can find the narrowest of crevices and move forth to assault the next available ear drum.
This particular gentleman, under discussion, has a great tendency to discuss his professional, financial and personal details on the phone at the top of his voice and that too in a deep Russian accent. The language he uses doesn't really matter. Whether his native Russian or the heavily accented English, his larynx delivers every word clear and sharp for all to hear, blissfully unaware that the noise it is generating is a cross between a whining motor vehicle on a wrong gear and a metal prong scrapped across a blackboard.
It is also unaware that the few unfortunate souls inside the affected radius are close to a nervous breakdown every time the phone rings at its masters desk or he picks it up himself and says 'HellloooWWW??' to initiate a conversation. The noise jars the brain cells of those around and temporarily causes all activities, thought processes to stop. One can see, in the eyes of each of these persons, the craving, the desire to shut this person up by any means possible. Some, who have endured longer, have a dangerously sadistic look in their eyes, that suggests something more violent and imaginative.
It is not long before somebody loses their cool. Someone has to put an end to this in a peaceful way before someone else reacts violently which might spark an international incident involving the CIA and whatever remains of the KGB.

All Good Things...

...come to an end. An excellent week is coming to an end. I got to stay at home all week. Work from home. No travelling. Needless to say my wife was very happy and so was I. I'm getting ready yet again for my travel routine.
Moving has a lot of pros and cons. You move away from friends but get to make new friends. But there is this initial period where you don't know anyone. And its kinda uncomfortable, since my wife's staying alone for the whole week while I roam around.But thanfully for us, we got to meet another couple(G & A) who moved in recently, through a common friend K. We found we had similar interests and hit it off from day 1. We found out how we equally dislike this common friend. He is so dislikable. He loves to poke his nose into others business and totally indiscreet. He can't take a hint and gets on my nerves all the time. We have fun talking about him and trashing him. More about him later.
Me and my wife enjoy animation movies and make it a point take a trip to the Movies to watch the new ones.At home we generally like to watch the popular cartoons like Tom and Jerry and anything by disney and laugh like silly. They are like that too. It was amazing since most of our other friends make fun of us saying we watch cartoons like kids.
This week, after a long time, I got to do something I used to love. I was crazy about Video games. I still am. Since I was at home this week, and we had moved to CA, I dusted up my GTA San Andreas which is based on the West coast and played to my hearts content. I drove like mad, ran over rival gang members, looted, robbed, beat up drug dealers, knifed, shot and killed rival gang members with gay abondon. Ah.. it was bliss!! To top it all, I found out our new friends, er atleast the guy G is totally into games himself. We had so much to discuss about each of the different games, swap CDs, hints etc. And our wives got something to crib about and complain to each other.
I can say life is getting better. Things look good. I hope soon I will be able to settle down here or somewhere else with a non-travel job.

Blistering Barnacles

I'm generally a very soft natured guy. I've got enormous amounts of patience and take most things positively and move on. But there are certain situations that drive me into a murderous rage.
After successfully moving to the Golden State of California, my wife looked around the empty apartment and decided on the spot that she has got some serious shopping to do. You know what that implies, but you don't say a word and play long. There's furniture to buy, utensils, bedding and stuff and of course jewelry, clothing and whatever accessories which "we" come across on the shopping spree.
We hit a nearby mall first to just look around and of course "we" made a beeline for Kohls. Now if you are guessing the reason for my murderous rage... is shopping, then you are absolutely wrong.
It was something else that happened there and a few other places and continues to happen to all those poor ignorant Indian souls.
We were going about our business, looking at various items of interest. Then suddenly out of the corner of my eye, I spy a well-dressed, smart looking Indian guy, wearing rimless glasses, pushing his shopping cart toward me. He's got a jazzy looking, heavily made-up wife tagging along. I move closer towards the rack to let him pass by. But no. He ha no intention of moving on without saying a "hi" to a fellow country man.He stops right near me and does just that. Says Hi.He's got this stupid fixed smile on his face.
He just doesn't say Hi.
He says "Hiiiiii!! I'm so-and-so. Are you living in such-and-such area? We are also from around there!!"
Wait a minute. I never said I'm from that area.
Then he proceeds to shove his business card into my face which I couldn't read since it went out of focus.
Then it hits me what this guy is all about.
This is one of those guys who got themselves enrolled in some kind of network marketing stuff and are always on the lookout for unsuspecting bakras like me. They are like the birds of prey, when they see one, they swoop down and collar the prey firmly by the neck and squeeze the life out of them.
I HATE THESE GUYS!!
With all the raging emotions running amok inside me, I keep a blank expression on my face and tell him, "I'm not from around here. I'm from India". I watched his smile falter for a second since he didn't expect it. Then he recovers and the stupid fake smile is back on, he starts saying something again.
Contrary to my nature, I cut him off mid-sentence and say, "Sorry. I gotta go. I'm in a hurry." and push off without waiting for a reply. Whew, that was close!
Occasionally, I used to run into these guys when I lived in Michigan. But thankfully, Texas was devoid of vermin like these.
But in California, these guys are dime-a-dozen. They are all over the place. Indian restaurants, walmarts,macys, kohls, all major malls. Their one sole purpose in life is to pull every one they meet into the s**t they are wallowing in already. They have several pickup lines. If they see you as a couple, the wife would come and comment on your wife's salwar or earrings etc. Then the guy would join in. And soon enough, before you know it, you are staring at a glossy business card and unconciously giving out your phone number.
They don't have a life. They don't have real friends. They look at everyone as a prospective business opportunity. Sometimes I pity these guys. Its like an addiction. The pitiful part is they don't even know they are addicted and all the good things in life they miss because of this.
I've heard friends say how they avoid such friends, avoid inviting them to parties since they just can't keep their business out of any friendly social gathering and upset other people who are there to have a good time.

Nowadays, me and my wife can identify these buggers from afar and move out of their line of sight. If at all they spring up suddenly and corner me in a lonely aisle, I politely, are not so politely if its a hard nut case, tell them to shove off and find someone else, since we are late for something else.
But You know what,I'm waiting to meet my next assailant. Coz I have several "polite" shove-off lines ready for their pick up lines, that I would like to shove down their sorry throats. Yeah!