Wednesday, December 19, 2007

Elevator Etiquette

Got up pretty late today. The alarm tune was so soothing, it actually lulled me to sleep again. Have to change the tune. Anyway by the time I was fully awake it was so late I had to get ready in a hurry. I jumped into my car and rushed to work. Being on time is important in my work place, especially today!! Lucky VN(my wife) was still rolling around in bed blissfully. (She switched off the alarm and went to sleep!!) :(
I parked and started a fast trot to the elevator, at the same time called up VN to let her know I reached safe and sound(This is a daily ritual). I stepped into the elevator feeling lucky that I was the only person in it and I can go point-to-point to my floor in a jiffy.Thats when the trouble started.

Floor 3. Stop. Me getting a bit annoyed.Two giggling girls get in(boy! do they take their time getting in!) and one holds her hand over the door apparently holding it open for a third girl who is still a good way off. Anyway girl 3 reaches(also giggling for no apparent reason) and she's almost in, when the first girl takes one look at the panel, turns towards me and exclaims. "Oh are you going up?". giggle."We are going down!". With that all three of them tumble out giggling crazily. I'm utterly frustrated. Cha. All this time wasted for nothing!

My woes are not over there.

Floor 4. The Janitor guy gets in slowly rolling in a large trash can.
Floor 5. Janitor guy gets out rolling out the trash can even more slowly.
My brain is screaming at me. You are late. your's is the only empty cubicle at this time. What if ur boss walks by or calls you on the phone. Its gonna be embarrassing.

Wait it gets worse.

Floor 6. Stop. Why me?!! There are 5 other elevators. Why mine?
Initially I don't see anyone. Then I could hear a lady's voice. She walked backwards towared the elevator and parked herself smack astride the door, one leg in and one leg out. Meanwhile she is talking nonstop loudly to her colleague who is standing a little way off in the corridor... discussing their shopping plans for the weekend. Inga oru manushanoda vedhanaiya purunjikama kathai adichitu irukanga.

I started a slow burn, getting really pissed off. She somehow finished her dialog said a hasty goodbye and backed into the elevator. Now is the fun part(not at that time, but now it sure feels funny). Apparently this lady has a slow processor built into her head, by nature. She was absent-minded enough not to press any buttons indicating her floor. Then the elevator started moving. All the while she was standing close to the door and had absolutely no idea there is another tortured soul sharing her ride.
She seemed to realize suddenly that she needed to push a button for her floor and her mind registered that the elevator was already moving. Only then she sensed that there's another person in there. I was already standing in the farthest corner of the elevator.She turned around and was so startled, she gave a little yelp and demanded "When did you get in? I don't remember seeing you here". Loose a ma ne? Granted i'm a bit thin and also wearing clothes with shades similar to the interior shades of the elevator. But na enna palliya? sevuthoda vottitu iruka? Ivunga paakalaiyam.

Anyway I gritted my teeth, gave a tight smile and said "You backed into the elevator, ma'am. So you didn't see me".
"Oh", was the reply. She seemed to ponder this bit of information for a moment. (Slow processor, you see)

Almost reached my floor. Elevator stops. Door is opening.
She asks, "Why didn't you tell me you were in here?". Me going ballistic #%$#$^ na enna "present madam" nu attendance a kudukkanum?!!
Thankfully elevator door closed before she could catch the expression on my face.

Nothing I feared happened at work. I wasn't really that late or I should say nobody noticed I was. :)

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