MegaReels' Mega News

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Good Evening. You are watching MegaReel News. In todays breaking news, a girl of Indian origin, making a living in Stockholm stumbled upon an astounding invention that is causing quite a stir among the scientific community across the world. Here is a report.

Ms. Jane Doe(Name changed to protect privacy) had been experimenting with various moisturising creams to keep her skin moist during the harsh winter seasons. She tried a combination of moisturing creams which she purchased from a reputed brand name. She noticed her skin color change purplish when under direct sunlight. Filled with fear, excitement and curiosity, she tried a few more combinations and perfected the art of changing her skin color to any color she wants: green, yellow, red, pink!! You name it, she got it! This has led to her being teased as The Chameleon in her circle and later by the whole community. Scientists who are studying this phenomenon have dubbed it "The Chameleon Effect" and still analyzing the various creams used by her.

Meanwhile, an un-named official from one of the leading Production houses in Hollywood, which by the way is named after a sly animal of the previous 100 years, confirmed under conditions of anonymity that the production rights for the movie about The Chameleon have been purchased by them for a whopping 55 million dollars and 50 cents. Ms. Jane Doe has signed the contract and graciously accepted to act in the movie to be named The Chameleon Chronicles.

Word has come out, that the American CIA is quietly trying to recruit The Chameleon to use her in their quest for the elusive terrorist Osama Bin Laden. Unconfirmed sources within the CIA have said that they came out with this strategy after she successfully changed her skin to a light sandy shade exactly like the sands of the desert.

Our leading correspondent John Smith is reporting live from outside the apartment building of Ms. Jane Doe. Lets hear what he's got to say.

Anchor: Hi John. What is the situation out there?
John (Attempt at cheap humor): Its pretty chilly out here and my skin is getting dry. I'll get my moisturizing lotion.
Anchor(More cheap humor): Ha Ha. Don't show us your true colors John.
John: Well, a group of senior officials from the reputed company who produce these moisturizing creams have just arrived by chopper and rushed in to meet The Cham.. err Ms. Jane Doe. From what we are able to understand, they are here to make her sign a contract to hand over a percentage of whatever she earns out of the deals, since it was their product which have enabled this in the first place. We are still unclear about the terms of the contract. Ms. Jane Doe's attorney, Mr. Lee Zard is with her at this moment, helping her with the negotiations. This is John Smith. MegaReel News. Stockholm.
Anchor: That was John Smith with the developing story. Stay tuned for more MegaReel News after the break.

Flight into danger

I read a couple of news items today. In this one, an American Airlines flight attendant refused to provide oxygen to a passenger with a breathing problem. Later they relented and tried to administrer oxygen, but found the oxygen tank empty. The passenger eventually died mid flight!! In the other one, the co-pilot died mid flight(of natural causes)!!! Considering all the flying I do, my mind started imagining various scenarios..
After all those elaborate safety instructions, which you never listen to nowadays anyway, your flight takes off. Mid flight a window blows off and there is fall in pressure at 35000 ft. Promptly the yellow oxygen masks drop down. You remember the instructions and strap it on and.. breathe in.. nothing happens.. no oxygen!! Looks like somebody forgot to fill up the oxygen tanks.. you can't do anything about it at that point, I guess. Pretty hopeless situation.

Now this actually happened on my flight back home yesterday.. The airport in my hometown is a pretty small one, meaning there's not so much traffic.. It was mid afternoon and the plane was on the final descent. It was wobbling a lot more than it ususally does and my experience (looking out the window week after week on the same flight) told me something was not right. The plane was very close to the ground but had definitely overshot the runway! So the pilot aborted the landing and immediately lifted off to circle the airport.. A very shaky voice trying to sound calm, announced over the P.A System "This is the captain speaking. We haven't been cleared for landing yet. We will get you on the ground as soon as possible." I don't believe a word of it. Man, was it scary!! We eventually did make it down, safe and sound, on the next attempt. I looked around at the other faces around me. The frequent fliers did know the difference!!

Freedom of the Press

At one point of time, sometime in the past few months, I decided that I would not read certain news items even if its the most popular news item on CNN.com and getting maximum number of hits. I'm talking specifically here about poor Britney Spears. For God's sake leave her alone!! She's got enough problems already. It might be her fault for the state she is in, but I guess even a celebrity would need some privacy. She has messed up her life totally and the most humane thing we can do is to let her sort out her things in peace.
There are so many other important stuff in the society the press can report about. But its not the press's fault too! They give what the general public want the most. Its us. You and Me!! We love gossip especially if its something as juicy as the colorful life of Britney. So the finger is finally pointing towards you and me. So i decided to do my part and stop reading any trash news about Spears or Winehouse or Lindsay for that matter. I hope every individual who cares for the betterment of the society we live in, takes this decision. This will ensure a press which works for the development of the society and not bombard us with gossip-quality news.

I'd written the above and saved it in draft a few days ago. And in todays news they say the cops have arrested(later released after a few hours) a few photogrphers from sleazy tabloids who were chasing celebrities to snap some controversial pics.

Ice Ice Baby

I opened the door. It was beautiful. The whole world was white. The leaf-less tree limbs covered with crystals of ice through out the sunlight in all directions. It was all shiny. I took a single step. whoooooosh!! screeech!! $%^%$*%*. I failed to notice that the ground was covered with a layer of hard shiny ice. Thankfully I regained my balance and averted a painful collision between my backside and the hard pavement. I stood there afraid to move. Slowly tried to take a step and again I lost balance. After thrashing about wildly and doing various types of snazzy dance moves, (I really dont know how many of those indian families in the nearby apartments watched my performance that day) I managed to place my feet in ankle deep snow. The cold promptly started seeping through my shoes, socks, skin, tissue and upto my bone. Anyway I managed to plod throught the snow upto my car, which was ofcourse encrusted in a box of shiny ice. I held on firmly to the nearby vehicles took out my weapons, broke the ice and brushed them away. I must've looked like a primitive cave-man.I literally skidded and skated my way to the airport, praying all the while that I shouldn't end up like the poor sods sitting pretty in the ditches with their big SUVs waiting for help to arrive. I hate those big SUV types, with all the extra fittings, who think they are invincible in any type of weather conditions. Ultimately they end up in ditches because of this, sometimes taking other poor sods, like me, with them. To cap it all, it started raining and visibility became very poor.
After all this I obviously did miss my flight and ended up paying a penalty to get the next available flight home. Texas!! home sweet home!! Well, atleast for now.

All electronic items must be switched off at this time

Its quite a while since I posted something here. Life's pretty hectic. And oh yeah. I've been travelling a lot. Now last weekend I made a trip to Detroit on some work and to attend a birthday party for my friend's son. It was a 1st birthday party, so it was grand. On the day I was to fly there I remembered I had to buy a gift! Gawd, I'm bad at this. As I do for almost everything, I turned to Google for help. One link led to another and before I knew it I had decided to buy a "Laugh & Learn: Laughing Puppy" from the shop Babies'r'us. Jumped into my car and dashed to the nearest Babies'r'us and asked the attendant for the particular item. (My flight was in another 3 hours.) He somehow located one from the store room. I hurriedly packed it up, paid for it, went home took my stuff and was on the way to the airport congratulating myself on how efficient I was.

I'm at the terminal with my bags. Thought I heard my phone ringing. Took it out. No? might be somebody else's. Come on. There were a lot of people around me. And very noisy too. Somehow went through security. By this time I'd checked my phone multiple times for the mysterious call which never came through. Hmmm. Made my way to the gate and actually boarded the plane. Got into my seat. The plane is relatively less noisier you know, atleast until the flight attendant starts the blah blah blah announcements preparing you for the various Worst Case Scenarios. I was trying to squeeze my carry-on bag under the seat in front of me. At the same time the flight attendant was carrying on with "All electronic items must be switched off at this time.." There was a relative lull in the conversations and the announcements when something from inside my bag sang out "Pat a cake, Pat a cake bakers man. Bake me a cake as fast as you can".

The toy which I bought was so designed to sing various rhymes and songs when pressed at various parts of its anatomy. This over-sensitive puppy had been singing merrily whenever it got prodded and I'd failed to realize it.
I had to take it out and search for the battery which of course was discreetly and inconveniently situated. :( Thankfully I found an On/Off switch which did the trick. But the damage was done. Everyone around was smiling at my expense. Hey atleast I'm responsible for lightening people's moods in an otherwise drab life.
Glad it didn't happend while going through security.